One of the questions that I’m asked most often when talking with people about travel is, “You travel solo!?” as if I’m committing a crime against humanity. “But isn’t that weird and awkward?” They’ll ask. “Don’t you get bored?”
My first solo trip came in August 2016, as I was turning 27 years old. I was going through a period of feeling down on life and decided that I was going to go to Seattle for a long weekend over my birthday. I had wanted to see Seattle for a long time so it seemed like a great place to go explore. Flights were cheap (I had just picked up my first Delta Skymiles credit card and used the sign-up statement credit to treat myself to paid first class) and I found a great deal on a hotel at the Hilton Garden Inn downtown.
I remember walking into the Seattle airport after landing and feeling just a little bit dazed. It was an early morning flight and I was tired and maybe a bit groggy…but also, I was in a new airport, in a new city, in a new state. I had never landed in an airport by myself and with nothing I needed to do or nowhere I needed to go. I had three days of a completely empty calendar. What an incredible experience!
There were some things I knew I wanted to do. I knew I wanted to take the light rail into the city rather than rent a car. I knew I wanted to visit the Pike Street Market. And as an up-and-coming avgeek, I knew I wanted to see the Museum of Flight. (Side note: A photo from that museum was one my earliest Instagram posts, and my very first travel photo.)
Other things that I wanted to do in theory didn’t work out in practice. I wanted to eat inside of a restaurant; while I had been practicing solo restaurant eating at home (it was awkward af to me!) but I hadn’t done it outside of a downtown cafe at lunch, where the target demographic was a single office worker. So actually eating dinner in a real restaurant was an entirely new goal.
And I learned that all these goals were big, novel activities.
At the Flight Museum I felt guilty spending money to go inside, and almost walked away. At times when I was inside I felt uncomfortable being by myself and surrounded by families. But the memory is one of my favorites from that trip. At Pike Place, I felt awkward; it was busy and crowded, but I was alone. I walked around, feeling like a fish out of water the entire time. I ended up getting food to go because I felt too uncomfortable to sit down. In fact, I found the only place I was comfortable on that trip was in my hotel room.
That was five years ago. At this point, I’ve learned about myself that I typically prefer to travel with others. I find group sizes of 2-4 are perfect. On the other hand, if there’s somewhere I really want to go or a specific date I have free that needs to be filled, I’ll go anyway, because I’d rather go solo than not go at all.
My second solo trip was to Guadalajara, Mexico. That was a significant level-up from Seattle. Now, I was traveling internationally to a non-English-native city. On that trip, I spent a lot of time wandering the city, listening to music and scoping the sights. Some solo travelers like to stay in hostels, go to clubs, and spend time with new friends. Conversely, I was learning that I typically prefer to keep to myself. At the same time, I was growing slightly more comfortable in actually being alone. In Guadalajara, I managed to dine in at a small shop, ordering and eating a sandwich.
And the reality is that over time I have gotten better at solo travel. At first, I had to force myself to go on solo trips. Like so many things in life, it took practice to get good at the activity and enjoy it. My next international solo trip was a seminal point in that process, as I flew to Tokyo.
Japan in summer 2017 was my first trip to Asia, first time crossing the Pacific Ocean. My first time crossing any ocean, really. And not just doing it solo, I mean my first time doing it at all.
My bias towards luxury grew on this trip. In fact, it happened at the time it did thanks to a great fare in business class aboard a Delta 747. I remember feeling positively giddy from my herringbone seat in the upper deck of that bird, just months before she was scheduled to be retired. Beyond my first flight on the Queen of the Sky, I stayed at the Hyatt Andaz Toronomon Hills. As a Globalist (well, Diamond at the time) I was entitled to an upgrade to a suite, but none were available; I was blown away by the base room anyway.
But, just getting from Haneda Airport to my hotel was a challenge. The first thing I saw when I landed in Tokyo was an Eastern-style toilet, which surprised and shocked me.
After clearing immigration, Google Maps instructed me on which trains to take to get to Toranomon Hills. It’s not a hard hotel to get to, but it is outside of the traditional tourist districts such as Ginza and Shinjuku. Trying to determine what price ticket to buy was a bit overwhelming. Thankfully, I quickly figured out what an IC card was, so I didn’t have to keep doing that calculation myself.
Tokyo helped to normalize solo travel for me. I didn’t feel entirely comfortable while alone, particularly where English wasn’t the primary language. But I got by anyway and it was ok–even, better than ok. I started to learn that I could manage myself and that increased my confidence. I began to take additional solo trips, such as to Amsterdam, Prague, and Jordan.
As I did more traveling, I developed a sort of routine for myself. For instance, I would change into pajamas before the first meal on the flight. (If the flight didn’t provide pajamas, I’d bring my own.) I’d grab a picture of the champagne glass when in first class. And about an hour before landing, I’d make a final bathroom trip to change, freshen up, and feel prepared to “beat the rush” through immigration once at the gate. At the hotel, I’d make every effort to acclimate to local time as quickly as possible. And for the hotel itself, I typically preferred to stay at the nicest place on the tail end of the trip.
Wandering around a new city is one of my favorite pastimes, and I always make sure to include plenty of time in my travel schedules to merely wander. It gives me a chance to explore and take in the culture and geography. It also gives me the opportunity to think and look inward. I am significantly more confident about myself than before I started traveling.
I valued witnessing other cultures and gaining new perspectives. I found myself feeling more grateful, especially when I would arrive home and reflect on the trip. I was definitely growing as a person through all of these experiences.
So how did I become a solo traveler? Well, it was a little bit of an accident that I tried out a few trips, a little bit intentional, stemming from a strong desire to go even if others didn’t want to, and a snowballing confidence level. At first, I traveled solo because I had to, if I wanted to travel at all. Now, I travel solo because I can. And it always feels rewarding when you do something for yourself.
